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If you'd asked me in 1999 who was better for Carrie, Aidan, or Big, I'd have said Aidan before you even finished your sentence. Big was emotionally unavailable, constantly pushing Carrie away when things got too serious. It always seemed like Big treated Carrie like a life-sized doll. He'd pull her off the shelf when he wanted to play with her and put her back when he got bored or because he found a beauty more appropriate for someone of his status.
Carrie enjoys dinner with a co-worker at Vogue magazine when she reveals her father abandoned her family when she was a child. Her friend remarks that her father left her with all kinds of questions, and now her career is asking questions about men. Later, as she writes her column, Carrie wonders aloud, "How much does a father figure, figure?" We see a glimmer of Carrie's origin story. Thus began Carrie's life-long attraction to emotionally unavailable men.
As an adult, Carrie grappled with a disorganized attachment style. For Carrie, Big's unwillingness to ever fully commit was safe. Big was always half-in/half-out. She understood that dynamic, having matured without a father. Carrie's default was spinning her wheels, trying to figure out why an emotionally unavailable man didn't want her.
Aidan was the Anti-Big. There were no head games with Aidan the first time around. No pretension. No hot and cold. Aidan had one hesitation: Carrie was a smoker, and he didn't date smokers. So she quit. Too bad Carrie's avoidant nature got the better of her and sabotaged the relationship by cheating with Big. If that weren't bad enough, she confessed her infidelity. She wanted to ensure Aidan saw what a mess she was and ran.
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